Of Mind and Spirit

Well, the new year is almost upon us!!

Can you believe it!!

Only 366 days until 2013!

A lot of people say “new year resolutions”..

which they promptly forget by Jan 31.

Local gyms go through the same bizarre experience every year.

On Jan 2nd, their parking lot is filled to the brim!!

Every machine has a waiting line.

People sign up for a years membership.

By the end of the month..

the parking lot is empty.

Only a few people are using the machines.

Why is this?

Because people try to implement their new years resolution to “get in shape” the beginning of the year!

They are STOKED to CHANGE!!!

Yup.

But it is a short lived motivation..

And 30 days later, people are back to their old ways.

Now, assuming you want to make REAL progress in your life’s goals this year..

Try this approach instead.

Don’t do any resolutions.

Instead, get your journal out (you do keep a journal, right?)

Put the date 12/31/2012 at the top.

(yes, that is not a typo).

Now, look BACK on the year 2012 and reminisce about all the INCREDIBLE things that have happened that year!

List all the major accomplishments that you made on your life’s goals.

Make sure you write them in the PAST tense.

Relive the experience of the joy of accomplishing them.

For example, you could say.

“I can’t believe I did it!! By June 15, 2012 I lost 10 pounds!! I was so excited I got me a dress/suit/pants 1 size smaller!”

Etc.

The key is to look BACK on 2012, as if it was already in the past..

and FEEL the joy and excitement of all the thing you have already done.

Put SPECIFIC goals and SPECIFIC dates.

Don’t just say “I was happy that I lost weight.”

That ain’t gonna cut it.

Say “By June 15, 2015 I lost 10 pounds! I was so excited……”

And when the REAL December 2012 comes around, you will be very pleasantly surprised at how many things in your journal came true.

Wishing you, your loved ones, and everyone that touches your life..

a Very Happy New Year!!

Until next time,
Peace,
Steve

Two years ago, my family went to the most INCREDIBLE restaurant.

EVER!

I mean, on a scale from 0 to 10, I would rate this place a 13!

Seriously.

The food was literally beyond perfection.

Even the salad was awesome!

It was huge head of lettuce, with tomatoes, and a dressing to die for.

Brilliant in its simplicity and taste!

The appetizer?

Mushrooms wrapped in brown rice with some special sauce.

Truly delicious and healthy!! (how many appetizers can you say that about?)

And the beef?

OMG!!

There is a farm (one of the few in the country where this happens), that suspends the cows off the ground…

they get hand massaged 5 times a day..

while listening to classical music!

(no joke!).

The whole premise was to make these cows be as peaceful and contended as humanly possible to produce the most tender beef in the world.

And you know what?

I have NEVER tasted beef that tender.

I could almost FEEL the happiness of these cows!

The service was beyond A+. I don’t think I have ever had better service.

or food.

EVER.

We couldn’t wait for the next opportunity to go there again!

(hint: it was pretty far from our home, so it’s not something that we can just go on a typical night).

Fast forward two years.

My family happened to be in the same neighborhood of this incredible restaurant!

So, naturally, we went to this same place!.

Under same management!

Can you imagine our excitement?

Well, we knew something was different as soon as we walked in.

It was hard to pinpoint..

Things LOOKED the same…

But something ‘wasn’t right.’

The waiter was nice, but that was it.

The menu?

We got the mushroom appetizer..

When it arrived it looked like fire logs.

They were fried so hard that it was hard to tear them apart.

And even harder to eat them!

We complained to the waiter, who really didn’t seem to care but told me he would pass on my concerns to the chef.

The salad came and we all looked at it and went

“What is this?”

It had beets (Beets?).
Egg salad (??)
Chick peas (!)
Olives.
and a piece of shrimp!

The dressing was not good either.

Frankly, it was a mess!

And there as no special beef to order.

Just filet mignon.

Now I am not knocking filet!

That is one incredible piece of beef.

But after having that “special” beef, it was a let down.

It wasn’t cooked in any sauce. And while it had taste, it wasn’t anything than a very good piece of meat.

My daughter got a pizza.

Again, nothing to write home about.

When we were done, the waiter took away our plates without asking if we wanted to take any home!

My daughter wanted to take the left off pizza home for leftovers tomorrow..

So I literally ran down the hall trying to catch our waiter before he threw the leftovers away!

I got there too late!

He felt bad and gave us another free pizza to take home.

But honestly!!

We left the place vowing never to come back again.

What happened?

The food wasn’t BAD.

The meal was good.

The service was okay.

So what, really, was wrong?

It was just okay… THAT was the problem!

How could a business go from being A++ to a “C” in a manner of 24 months?

• It eliminated the one-of-a-kind meal that separated itself from literally thousands of other eating establishments.
• It treated it’s customers like a typical paying customer, rather than a special guest.
• It threw out the brilliancy of simplicity and substituted the mess of complexity, thinking that more was better.

In short, the management was content on the business being ‘okay.

So it went from great to good.

Is this what we have done to ourselves?

Have we stopped viewing ourselves as one-of-a-kind person that is different from literally billions of other human beings?

Do we treat people we meet like a typical passerby, rather than a special acquaintance?

Have we thrown out the brilliance of simplicity for the mess of complexity, thinking that more is better?

In short, are we content with our lives being ‘okay?’

I hope not.

You ARE someone special.

Out of 7 BILLION people, there is NO ONE like you!!

NO ONE!

You affect EVERYONE you come into contact.

Even the stranger who glances (even accidentally), your way.

NEVER settle for being ‘okay.’

Because you are designed for GREATNESS.

Never forget that.

In the realm of humanity..

You are A+++.

Literally a 13 on a scale of 0 to 10!

Yes, it’s okay to feel good about yourself.

Now, go, and share the joy!

Until next time,
Peace

Steve

Do you ever wonder.

Does it REALLY matter what you listen to?

What you watch?

What you read?

Sometimes I think people who say “be CAREFUL about what you are exposed to! IT ALL AFFECTS YOU!! BWAH HAH HAH!” are a little, well, extreme.

But yesterday, something happened to me that made me think that there is really something to that philosophy.

A song came into my head.

Now, bot just any song.

A song that I ONLY HEARD ONCE WHEN I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!

That was FIVE DECADES AGO.

The song?

OH, YOUR RED SCARF MATCHES YOUR EYES,
YOU CLOSED YOUR COVER BEFORE STRIKING,
FATHER HAD THE SHIPFITTER BLUES,
LOVING YOU HAS MADE ME BANANAS.

The song was called, of course “Loving you has made me bananas.”

Let’s forget the profound theological implications of that chorus for a moment.

(that was a joke, folks.)

The fact that I STILL REMEMBER THAT BLASTED CHORUS FIFTY YEARS later, really says something.

Now I have NO idea what brought that tune (and words) into my head.

But that fact that it still had the power to resurface after so long realy shows me the power of what we expose ourselves to.

You read something horrible in the news?

It somehow gets stored in your brain for later use.

That film that shows violence against women?

Yup.. that gets stored too.

That gossip you hear about a co-worker?

People talking about how hard it is to get a job..

how the economy sucks..

how this and that is bad….

You get the picture.

As the new year comes closer, take some time look at what you are reading, seeing and listening.

What if your brain is being reprogrammed to think along those lines?

Is that the kind of life you want?

Now I am not saying that EVERYTHING you listen to will impact your life.

It just may be a total coincidence that my wife’s eyes matches her scarf.

Curious and curiouser.

Until next time,

Peace,
Steve

Holidays are upon us.

These SHOULD be times of laughter, warmth and family reunion.

Sadly, for many of us it will be just the opposite.

On the stress scale, vacation and Christmas earn 13 points… each.

(hint, points on a stress scale is NOT good).

Why?

We will be seeing family members that we haven’t seen in years.

and we wish it would stay that way.

We will be hearing the same old sad stories from people who are stuck with telling these stories like a broken record.

Yes, we will hear about Aunt Edna’s hysterectomy disaster…

for the 43rd time.

We be (more) financially strapped than any other time of the year.

Pressure to give..

Pressure to travel..

Pressure to give, and attend, parties.

yada.. yada… blah.. blah.. blah.

Here is why I think this time of the year is really stressful.

1. Many will over extend themselves financially in order to give as many (or as expensive) gifts to others.
2. For many, it is time of loneliness. For those without loved ones nearby, holidays can be a painful reminder that you live alone.
3. if a loved one died this time of the year, then those memories will come back and sadden us.
4. We will be around people that annoy us
5. We will be treated like the way we USED to be, waayy back when people knew us. We have changed so much since then, but others will remember (and treat us) just the way they remember us.

How we deal with this?

1. Set a firm dollar limit on all gifts this holiday season.

   • Realize that it truly is the thought that counts.
   • Write your own cards.
   • Perhaps even make a gift.
   • Cook something.
   • Give the gift of your time and talents to someone.

   You would be surprised how much more meaningful these can be than things you can buy with green stuff.

2. Find SOMEONE to spend the holidays with.

   • Go to a party.
   • Reach out to that friend that you have lost touch with.
   • Look in the local paper and find SOMETHING to do!
   • Volunteer (there are opportunities all around you, if you look for them).
   • Go to church (yes, it is okay to do this!).
3. Remember the good times of the dear departed.

   • Get together with those who remember those who have passed, and focus on love and the light of this person.
   • Know that the person is not truly gone, but is still with you in spirit- and wants you to move on in you life and enjoy life – not wallow in sadness over the loss for eternity.
4. Accept people as they are – and that they will, in all probability, NOT change. This is VERY hard!!
   • If someone has consistently done/said things that really have really pissed you off in the past, be 100% prepared that they will do and say these EXACT same things again when you see them. Accept this. And EMBRACE IT! Yes, you read that right. They are going to do/say those things anyhow, aren’t they? So why fight reality?
   • Imagine yourself in a room with them, let them say/do those irritating things, and play act (in your mind) how you can fun with this. Or at least not let it get you upset.
   • When you can really accept that these people will act a certain way, then you can actually enjoy being with them. It is only when you are gritting your teeth because you wish they would change (i.e. you are in denial and fighting reality), that things go bad.
   • Relax and know that nothing anyone says or does can really hurt or affect you unless YOU let it! YOU are in control. Not them.
   • So let them boast, call you names, do embarrassing things… that’s THEIR problem. Not yours.

   When you can get into a place of accepting them for who they are, and accept the things they do and say, and not wish (or worse, try!) to change them, then you will find the experience to be a very different one.

   And, honestly, don’t you want them to accept you just as you are, without wanting to change YOU?

5. Be yourself but realize others may see you, and want to treat you the way they remember you. You have two choices.
   1. You can stand firm to who you are now, and not revert back to the way you were.
   2. Or you can go along and play the game of being like you were in order to please them.

   I would be careful on the second choice, but if people you are seeing are old, set in their ways, or at death’s door, then playing this game could be a more compassionate way to handle the situation. Only your heart will now which path to choose.

Holidays can bring us into contact with a lot of painful memories,

and a lot of painful people.

Or it can bring us into contact with lovely memories,

and a lot of people whom we can appreciate for being who they are.

I wish you much happiness and joy this holiday season.

No matter what you celebrate.. or don’t celebrate.

Holidays is just a formality.

Celebrate the day.

For today is all we have.

Peace, Joy and Love,
Steve

This weekend I had a truly incredible experience.

One of my items in my bucket list was crossed off.

I had the AWESOME gift of helping out with running the lights for stage production of the Nutcracker and Alice in Wonderland, Jr. at Duke theater!

To say it was “COOL!” is an understatement!

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

Did I have to move the lights? (Need to be in better shape.. those things look HEAVY!).

As it turned out, the technical director (Marcy, who was PHENOMENAL, btw) programmed the light board.

So it was pretty much hitting buttons to execute her programs.

It was still fun!

I was watching her practically run the whole show…

She controlled when the curtain went up.

when it went down.

when the snow was to fall.

when the props were to be moved on stage.

When the music had to be started..

and which lights needed to go on when.

all to provide the optimal environment for the performers.

and I thought..

Is this how the Divine works in our lives?

Setting everything up to provide the optimal environment for us?

What I found fascinating about the light board was that while it was programmed for most part,

it couldn’t go on autopilot.

We had to wait for cues from the performers.

Then we could set the next set of lights and music in motion.

Occasionally I had to raise or lower the lights by hand.

So the timing of the lights (and sound) couldn’t be 100% in autopilot

(otherwise they wouldn’t have needed me!).

Oh, there were a few mistakes that were made.

Nothing serious..

and more importantly, nothing that the audience would have ever noticed.

In general, these productions went incredibly smoothly.

Is this how life works?

Could God be waiting for cues from US to set the next set of opportunities in our paths?

Then God waits for the next cue from us…

And when we are ready,

then the next set of wheels go in motion..

and more wonderful things happen in our lives!

Marcy had to work really hard to program the board..

She had to think about which lights needed to go where, for how long, what color, what intensity, etc.

Whew! I get tired just thinking about it!

Is this what God does for us?

All the hard work is really done for us..

We just need to focus on what we are meant to do..

to find our place, our cue (if you will) in life..

and then the Divine causes things to happen in our lives

in response to our cues!

Do we know what our cues are?

Do we understand our place in life?

Is it possible…

just possible..

that the reason why things seems so difficult in life is because we refuse to play the part we were meant to play in life?

And the Divine is quietly waiting at the heavenly light board…

wondering when in the world we are going to just stop fighting our destiny..

and take our place on the stage of life..

so the play can continue..

and everything can go smoothly…

Just as it was planned.

Hmm.. I wonder..

Until next time,
Peace,

Steve

p.s. if you ever want to see a great show, please check out Duke Box Office.. and if you go there, then please be sure to tell Marcy that Steve sent you!!

Question:
Who is the judge of all judges?

Okay, it’s Christmas time and some of you may be thinking “um, Jesus?”

Well, actually, no.

At least not in this case.

First, who are the judges of this world.

Think hard.

Now, look in the mirror.

It’s okay, I can wait..

(la de da, la dee dah).

Back?

Yup, we set ourselves up as judges of this world!

Every time we say to ourselves (or say to others) that some person ‘you know what (so and so) needs to/should do? blah blah blah”

We are judging others.

Whenever we want to change somebody (to our way of thinking, of course!)…

We are judging others.

Whenever we see what someone does and says it is “good” or “bad”… we are judging others.

Don’t we ALL do this?

At least at SOME point?

Let’s be honest with ourselves.

We are human, after all.

Now, here’s the thing.

If you are judging others.

Others are judging you.

EVERYONE is a judge!

So when you judge others..

You set yourself up as the judge of all judges!

Crazy, no?

Why do we do this?

Really, what makes us think that we are the only ones who know how to run the universe?

Put like that, judgmental attitudes really seem ludicrous.

(At least to me).

I think it is because changing ourselves is hard.

REALLY hard.

That’s why most people don’t want to change.

Because it is painful.

So what do we do?

We try to change OTHERS so we don’t have to change ourselves!!

Now here is where it gets really nutzoid (yes, that is a word! At least accordingly to Mary Webster. She is Miriam’s sister, btw).

YOU CAN”T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE!!

YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF!!

In other words, we are trying to fight reality (you can’t change others) when we try to change others!

Where does this get us?

Headaches. Gray hair. Body odor.

Okay.. maybe not that last one.. (though there was this one person who.. ah, never mind).

When we stop judging others and accept them for who they are,

then we no longer want to change them.

which is reality.

And accepting reality is a LOT easier on the nerves and spirit than fighting it!!

So let’s stopping fighting reality, shall we?

The next time you really wish someone would say/do/be something different.

Stop and say to yourself (“I can’t control that person. All I can control is my reaction to that person.”)

Accept the way they are.

Embrace it.

It’s okay.

The world can do with one less judge.

JURY DISMISSED!!

Until next time,
Peace,

Steve

In order to get ready for my class, I got to the room 2 hours early to make sure everything was okay.

You know.

Make sure the table and chairs were set up correctly.

TV worked.

The normal preparation stuff.

My first class was at 1:30…

I got to the room at 11:30 am..

And the room was…

FILLED with …

HUNDREDS OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENT CASES!!

On tables… chairs… on the floor..

on the sides.

These suckers were EVERYWHERE!!

Tuba cases..

CELLO cases!! (Those things are HUGE)

DRUM cases!!

HUNDREDS!!!!!!

(Did I mention there a few musical instrument cases in the room?)

I was in SHOCK!

What in the world is going on?

I looked outside the room..

and saw..

A full 125 piece orchestra performing in the mall!!

I ran into the coordinator who said they were using the room for storage while they were playing!

And my class was starting in 2 hours..

When I asked when they planned to be out of the room, she said

“Oh about 1pm or so.”

Egads!! that gives me only 30 minutes to set up and prepare!!

NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!!

(insert favorite freak-out expression here).

I spoke to the mall office.

Seems there was a mix up.

Well, DUH!

I later found out that these were middle schoolers…

Many of whom this was their first time performing in public.

I stopped.

Took a deep breath.

And said to myself..

“Self. You are teaching a class in spirituality. Practice what you teach.”

So I did.

I simply accepted what was happening, knowing that everything would turn out fine.

The music was actually pretty impressive.

These kids were talented.

I got some lunch, sat down, and had a nice chat with some of their teachers.

At exactly 12:50 pm, 125 kids ran into the room!

in 10 minutes, they packed everything up.

And 125 students went on the bus!!

125 musical instruments (in their cases!) went on the bus!!

I said goodbye and looked around the room…

and realized…

my coat went on the bus!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I called security who dryly said

“Mister. There were 125 kids from 7 different schools from 4 different counties riding 3 different buses. I am sorry to say I don’t think you will be wearing your coat home tonight.”

Bummer.

However, I parked about 10 feet from the mall exit, so it wasn’t that bad.

I sat down, prepared for the class.

And you know what?

It went great!

Both classes!

Everything did work out.

Looking back I realized that I COULD have continued to “freak out” and worry non-stop every minute ..

and think “When are these kids coming back? don’t they realize I need to prepare? yada yada yada.. blah blah blah”

What would have that gotten me?

Just some (more) wrinkles on my forehead and a few more grey hairs.

Instead, I was able to catch myself and enjoy the time.

So next time you rent a room and find 125 musical instrument strewn across every nook and cranny..

Don’t panic.

Everything will turn out fine.

Just remember to hold onto your coat.

My last free introductory class is this Friday, (Dec 16th). So if you are interested, you may want to check it out.. after that, registration for the course will be closed.

Just thought I mention that..

: )

Until next time,

Peace,
Steve

During my class the other night

(which was FANTASTIC for those who missed it!)

It became clear that many of us have some real issues with religion.

I started to question the REAL reason why I, and others, have turned our backs on religion.

What is it really?

In order to find out, I have created a survey!!

If you have ANY “hangups” with religion, then I would REALLY appreciate you taking it.

It’s REAL short.

If you spend more than 3 minutes on it, then you are thinking WAY too hard!!

In fact, I believe most of you could take the survey in less than a minute.

Come to think about it, you are spending more time reading this post than taking the survey!

So what are you waiting for?

TAKE THE SURVEY NOW !!!

I’ll publish the results after enough people vote.

No recounts.

No hanging chads.

Just good ol’ fashioned check marks.

Why are you still reading this when you should be taking the survey?

Until next time,

Peace,

Steve
.
.
.
p.s.

Did I mention that there is a SURVEY to take?

Just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss the invitation.

I was reading how a lot of women feel they lose themselves in their marriages.

That had me thinking.

I embrace the concept of unity so much…

Does it belong in marriage?

Isn’t that what the marriage vow says –

“And the two shall become one!”

Really?

Not only do I no longer believe that..

I don’t think it is even healthy!

If you really think two people can become one, then you will indeed lose yourself in the relationship.

Heck, women still LOSE THEIR NAMES when they get married!

How metaphoric is that!

No longer is a woman Jane Doe..

Now she becomes Mrs. John Smith!

Where is Jane Doe in that name?

NOWHERE!

Worse, people will now refer to her as “John’s wife.”

Where is Jane in that reference?

NOWHERE!

No wonder women lose themselves in a marriage!

My perspective is that when two people get married,

they CREATE something new.

A new life is created – the relationship.

It is a THIRD element..

Man.. Woman. relationship.

(p.s. I am not being homophobic, folks. Substitute the appropriate gender that you feel comfortable for your significant other.. it’s just easier to use a man and woman for illustrative purposes. Okay? Okay!)

The analogy of the relationship being a living being is a powerful one.

For it needs nurturing..

caring.

When it is first born, it is fragile..

Eventually it grows into a mature relationship – just like a person!

When you think of the relationship being an ADDITION to the couple, then nobody loses themselves!

Everybody still exists.

Jane… John.. and them as a couple.

To me, that changes everything…

Yes, we are all part of the Divine..

We are all intricately linked to each other in a very profound way.

And we are also unique beings..

If we were really all the exact same being, then there wouldn’t be a reason for you to be here!

It is your unique gifts that brought you here.

Don’t let ANYBODY or ANYTHING squash that.

Especially not a relationship.

And the two shall become… three.

Yeah, I like the sound of that much better!

It might even become the title of one of the books on my list to write!!

What do YOU think?

Until next time,
Peace, Love and Light,

Steve

NOWHERE!