Of Mind and Spirit

I realized that I am juggling too many balls right now.

Life has thrown me a lot of ‘stuff’ my way, and frankly, it’s more than I can handle.

There is an expression..

“you can have anything you want, but you can’t do everything you want.”

To me, that means that if I want anything bad enough, I can make it happen.

But there is so much one person can do.

I took stock on my life and realized that, yup, God/Universe/etc. has landed in my lap pretty much everything that I wanted.

Pretty incredible, actually.

But I wanted a lot – at the same time.

Not good, folks.

I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said

“the only thing worse than not getting what you want, is getting what you want.”

Profound words.

But what to ‘cut out?’

In my class on Religion and Spirituality, I have taught the power of the level of non-belief. The power to say “no, I don’t believe that is helpful anymore.” To me, that is a very necessary step for growth. That we have to let go (“no”) to an old belief, in order to open space for a new belief system.

It also applies, in my opinion, to weeding out activities in our lives.

I stopped struggling and went with my instinct.

One what I KNEW was right to drop from my life.

One of the things surprised me.

It was my local “Of mind and spirit” group!!

No, not the classes. I will continue to teach that even if nobody shows up!

I was also trying to start a local group based on a vision I had.

It fumbled along for a while, and then.

nothing.

I took a hard look at the situation.

What was going on?

Wasn’t this what my passion was all about?

“of mind and spirit?”

Well, that turned out to be the problem.

I saw that I drastically changed the very mission of the group from the beginning.

Very slowly I changed it from my vision to the vision of the people who were attending.

It was subtle, but by the end it transformed into something that was simply not my vision.

Here’s the thing.

The modified vision for the group wasn’t a bad one!

It was actually a very good vision!!

Perhaps even a great one!!

But it wasn’t one that was in my heart and soul.

Thus, I had no real PASSION for the group.

Without passion, nothing can live for long.

I knew what I had to do.

So I disbanded the group.

Oh, not permanently.

I WILL resurrect it again.

And when I do, it will be based on a vision that makes my heart sing.

I learned a lot from this experience.

How we waste our time on things not aligned to our soul (even though at an artificial level, we may be fooled to think it is).

How we over commit and get involved in too much at the same time.

How hard it is to let go of things – especially those that we “created”.

How important it is to prioritize the things in our life.

Sometimes it is not what we say “yes” to that is critical for our success.

It is what we say “no” to that is even more important.

That’s how we focus. By limiting what we are focusing on.

Letting go of things can be challenging, but deciding exactly what to let go is really not that hard.

Deep down inside, you know what you should not be doing.

You KNOW there are things that you no longer believe in, and hang on to them out of habit.

You KNOW the things that are not helping you, and those things that are harmful to you.

And you KNOW when the time is right to do this!

Right now?

I need to let go of writing this blog, as it is getting too long and it is getting too late!!

So, adios mi amigos!

Buenos noche.

Steve

I was at a restaurant with my daughter last night.

and was reminded of the time when I was young and my mother took me to dinner.

She was an amazing woman (bless her soul).

One thing in particular that really impressed me was the way she managed to eat the fanciest meals..

without paying.

I remember these incidents distinctly, because they happened so often.

My mother would be eating some of the richest foods.. (typically in large quantities)..

and at sometime during the meal, would say.

“Oooh. I am going to pay for this later!”

These incidents usually occurred when my mother was on something she called a “diet.”

Now, I believe that my mother eventually paid for those meals.

And I give absolutely no credence to the ugly rumor (spread by an even uglier neighbor) that my mother was seen doing the dishes in the kitchen of a certain Chinese restaurant (that remains nameless).

Yup, she was quite a woman.

Here is the thing.

She KNEW those meals weren’t good for her..

WHILE she was eating them!

She understood there was a ‘cost’ to violating the ROTDP! (Rules of the Diet Plan)

But she did them anyhow.

My mother never did manage to lose the weight she wanted.

How many times do you do something that – in the midst of the activity – you KNEW it was not good/healthy for you?

Yet you continued to do it?

That knowledge is your intuition sending off warning signals.

It is your Robot from “Lost in Space” frantically waving it’s arms and screaming

“DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!! DANGER!!”

When you think about it, it’s pretty crazy to ignore these messages when they are that loud.

Why do we do this?

Self sabotage, some say.

Bad habits, other say.

In-breeding, others say.

My vote is for what is behind door #2. Poor habits.

Like a nun’s wardrobe dipped in cement, old habits are hard to break.

But each time is another opportunity to break the cycle.

And here is the amazing thing about this.

All you have to do is to break this cycle – stop the unwanted habit – just ONCE.

And you have given yourself a spark of confidence that you can do it again.

And the next time you break the habit, your confident grows a little more.

And so on, and so on.

So next time you are doing something that you KNOW you shouldn’t..

and you haven’t finished what you started.

STOP.

BREATH.

And enjoy the sweet smell of victory.

Hey! I just realized.. Wouldn’t that be a GREAT signature dessert at a restaurant?

Victory cheesecake!

Yum!!

I can just see myself biting into a huge slice of chocolate covered cheesecake, with strawberry drizzle, over a hot fudge brownie, surrounded by a layer of whip cream, cherries, and….

Oh wait. That might not be healthy.

Oooh. I am going to pay for this later!

Peace,
Steve

Once upon a time there was an angel.

Not just any angel.

This angel was SO HAPPY…

and SO full of ENTHUSIASM!

that this angel actually GLOWED!

All the other angels could tell when this ‘brightest angel’ was around

because they see the BRIGHT LIGHTS coming their way!!

This angel was like a beacon in heaven!

NOTHING stood in it’s way.

NOBODY could make it sad.

No, sir!

This angel was the Happiest and brightest angel in heaven.

But WHAT was the source of this happiness?

Let’s find out as we eavesdrop on a VERY important conversation….

———–
(the angel is WHIZZING through the clouds with those ADORABLE wings flapping through the breeze).

(the angel flies up to God).

(God). Well, if it isn’t my BRIGHTEST angel!! And what brings you here?

(Angel, panting out of breath). Whew! God! I NEED YOUR HELP!

(God). Calm down, child. What’s the matter?

(Angel). You have GOT to send me to EARTH! RIGHT AWAY!

(God) Earth? You want to become human? For goodness sake, why, child?

(Angel) Oh, God. I realized that I have this INCREDIBLE GIFT that the world needs! And it needs it NOW! and only I can give it them!!

(God). Hmm. I was wondering when you would realize that. That’s one VERY SPECIAL gift I gave you.. And yes, the world DOES need that VERY badly. But have you considered all the consequences of being human?

(Angel) YES!! YES!! SEND ME!

(God) Do you realize you will be entering a world full of hate, violence, intolerance and war?

(Angel) True, Lord. But it is also a world full of love, kindness, acceptance and peace!

(God) You have learned well, little one. But there is one more thing that you may not have realized.

(Angel, looking puzzled). What’s that?

(God) In order for you to become human to give the world your wonderful gift, I have to put you down in a certain place, at a certain time, to a certain set of parents.

(Angel, still puzzled). So?

(God). You may not like where you are born, the times you are living, or even your parents. They may not be nice people, and may even hurt you. You may be born into violence, poverty and despair. The world you will know may not be a pretty place.

(Angel looks sad).

(God). And there one more thing.. Perhaps the most important thing of all.

(Angel, speaking softly). What is it, God?

(God) When you become human, you won’t remember this conversation. You won’t remember what your gift was. Why, you won’t even remember you were ever an angel.

(Angel) Oh, no!

(silence)

(Angel) Hey, wait a minute! Won’t you be with be with me all the time? You will put your spirit in me, right?

(God, smiling). Yes.

(Angel) So all I have to do is ask you once I’m human!! You will tell me that I’m an angel, what my gift is and everything, right?

(God, smiling brightly). Yes!

(Angel). I don’t get it, Lord. Isn’t this the way every angel becomes human?

(God) Yes.

(Angel). Then why doesn’t everyone ask you these things so they will remember? After all, what’s the point of coming down with a gift to share if people can’t remember what their gift is?

(God, sadly). The simple answer is that most people never ask me.

(Angel, beaming again) Well, that is just plain silly! I won’t forget to ask you!!

(God) No, child. I don’t believe you will.

(Angel) and then you can help me nurture my gift and share it!! Then all the suffering of being human will be worth it!!

(God just smiled)

(Angel). So let’s get this party started! Send me down, Lord!!! Send me NOW!!

(God) You are sure you are ready?

(Angel) Ready, willing and able!! Let’s Go!!!

———————————————

And so you were born.

One day, I realized I was late for my Buddhist meditation!

I have NO idea of how I let the time slip by, but it was 7:20pm.

And the meditation started at 7:30PM!!

OH NOOOOOO!

I ran out of the house like a bat out of hell

(I always wondered – wouldn’t bats LIKE hell? why would they run out? It’s not like the light would scare them aware. Sheesh – the expressions we mortals use!)

I get into my car, and without letting it warm up..

floored it out the drive way.

(note: read your car user’s manual. It usually says “never race a cold engine.” Not good for the car).

I was probably doing 200!

Maybe 250!!

My blood pressure, I meant!

Oh, the car?

Probably clocking in around 80.

It is amazing I didn’t get a ticket..

or hit someone.

I arrived at the parking lot at precisely 7:29:37!

I MADE IT!!

My heart was pounding..

My head was throbbing.

My car was steaming…

And then..

I started to laugh.

How absurd was this all!

Meditation, especially Buddhist meditation, is all about appreciating the moment.

To savor every split second of life.

This group has taught how to take 5 full minutes just to enjoy ONE strawberry!

And I was SPEEDING to this place!!

Pretty insane, if you really think about it.

It’s so easy to lose focus sometimes, isn’t it?

Before we know it, we engage in behavior that is the exact opposite of what we are trying to achieve..

all in the glorious service of some elusive goal.

Take some time today to pace yourself.

Breathe.

Relax.

And realize that time, itself, is limitless.

So go and..

oh..

Wait a minute?

Is THAT really the time????

NOOOOOOOO!

Gotta run.

Peace,

Steve

Well, this is interesting.

Evidently, some parents don’t believe in gender stereotyping their child.

So they kept the gender a secret.

From EVERYONE.

including their child.

Eventually, a situation at school forced them to tell their child.

Question:

Are these parents trying to live with a different paradigm, and being a catalyst for a global paradigm shift on how to raise a child..

or are they using their child as an experiment?

Are these parents loving?

Or cruel?

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/couple-finally-reveals-childs-gender-five-years-birth-180300388.html

Appreciate your comments!!

Peace,
Steve

When I speak to people about religion, the #1 reason why people have problems with it is ..

dogma!

People just can’t STAND dogma!

Really?

What is dogma?

It’s just a set of beliefs.

typically about morals and faith.

That you believe to be true.

That’s all it is.

EVERYBODY embraces dogma!

When you say you hate dogma, what you really mean is that you hate the specific beliefs of that church/organization.

But you have your own dogma.

Doubt this?

Everyone has some kind of belief system.

Yours may be unique.

(just like everyone else’s)

But you have SOME system of how things work.

SOME things you believe are true.

And that, my dear friend, is your dogma!

While I was studying the Talmud (which is a compilation of hundreds of rabbis debating Jewish law over a thousand years – quite a book to try to get through…)

One line struck me.

“If you don’t embrace this Talmud you will only create your own.”

It took me years to understand that.

What it means to me is that we all believe in how the world/God/universe works.

There are laws that we believe in.

(even chaos is a law unto itself).

And we interpret our life’s events through these sets of laws.

We discuss these with ourselves and sometimes change our understanding of these laws.

That, essentially, is what the Talmud is for the Jews.

Interpreting God’s law, as they see it. Changing the interpretation sometimes.

It’s all dogma.

Either you accept someone else’s.

Or you will create your own.

Perhaps that word “dogma”, like the word “God”, has too much emotional baggage.

Dogma has become to be synonymous with arrogance, inflexibility, holier-than-thou attitudes, etc.

And yes, for most of us, our beliefs do become fixed over the years and are VERY hard to change.

So maybe Dogma isn’t a good thing.

To remove ALL dogma from our life is to let go of ALL preconceived beliefs.

To be open to ANYTHING.

Then again, maybe that’s a different dogma in itself.

This weekend, take a look at what you believe in.

How do YOU think the world works?

What is YOUR view of God?

What do YOU think is good or bad?

What do YOU think is immoral?

What does faith mean to YOU?

Chances are you have developed a neat little system over the years that have helped you cope with life.

Chances are it has also hindered you in life.

When we are willing to let go of our most cherished beliefs,

then miracles can occur.

It’s time to throw out all dogma.

At least that’s my dogma…

er. belief.

er.

Oh never mind.

Peace,
Steve

I stopped reading newspaper years ago.

Not only was I sick of reading constant negative news, I didn’t think most of it WAS news!

Gossip? Yes.

Propaganda? Yes.

Spin? Yes.

News?

Not so much.

I stopped getting TV (even basic cable) years ago, because I realized I was spending more time channel surfing than watching anything, and what I did end up watching wasn’t very good (imho).

Plus the good shows I could get on DVD and skip all those commercials.

And now with the power of the Internet, just by going to Yahoo’s main page, I can get inundated with a zillion pieces of tragedy, trash, and tyranny!

I was going home the other day and the traffic practically came to a complete stop!

What was going on?

There was an accident.

Now here was the fascinating thing.

The cars were on the far side of the road – even the cop cars.

There was NOTHING blocking the main road.

The hold up?

Cars were SLOWING DOWN TO LOOK AT THE WRECKAGE!

WHY?

What is this fascination with death and tragedy of other people?

Deaths bring visitors.

Life? Not so much!

Pick up any newspaper, new based web site, etc. and see how many positive and life affirming pieces of information you find.

Chances are not many.

Murder? page 1.

Sex scandal? Page 1.

Someone helping someone? page 15.

Why do we look at for the worst in humanity?

Is it just to make us feel better about ourselves?

(e.g. well, at least THAT hasn’t happened to me?)

If that’s true, then that is sad.

Isn’t there enough pain that life throws us anyhow..

Do we REALLY have to go LOOKING for it?

This week, consciously avoid focusing on the worst in humanity,

and go seeking for the best.

You will find it.

It’s as prevalent – if not more so – than the worst.

What always helps me is to realize that everyone – EVERYONE – has the Divine within them.

No matter what they look like.

No matter what they have done.

No matter what they say.

Imagine a divine white light in everyone you meet.

See the good in people.

You never know…

You might even help someone see the good in themselves.

Peace,
Steve

Since it’s still the beginning of the year, I am still looking back.

One of the things that struck me was that I gave up pork.

a long time ago.

People ask me why I did it.

It’s actually a little complicated.

As many of you know, I went through ‘phases’ of religion…

points of time where I immersed myself in one particular religious path.

About 20 years ago, I was HEAVY in my SMP.

(that’s Strict Monotheistic Phase, for you ACP out there).

(ACP is Acronym Challenged People)

At that point in my life, I gave up the Trinity of Christianity and embraced the Unity of the Judeo-Islamic tradition.

Ok, so not too many people think of the Judeo-Islamic tradition.

In fact, I might have even coined the phrase!

I always found it strange that we refer to the Judeo-Christian tradition, when – in reality- those religions have very little in common (once you get past the historic roots), while Judaism and Islam seem like mirror images to me.

Anyhow, among the many similarities of Judaism and Islam I found, one that was pretty obvious (and well known) was that they both forbid pork.

Hmm. Curious.

I gave up pork just to be in solidarity with what I then saw as my monotheistic brothers and sisters in those religions.

It was a lot easier dining with them, for sure! (though I was surprised at how many Jews now eat pork!)

I also found out just how hard it was to give up a habit.

Pork was a major part of my life for forty years!

Bacon!

Ham sandwiches!!

Miss Piggy!

I went cold Turkey and it was one of the hardest thing I ever did.

(Wait! Shouldn’t that be cold Pig? nah.. don’t like the sound of that).

Cravings started every time I smelled pork..

No more BLT!!

ARGGHH.

I had to give up some of my favorite candies.

(Most candies are made with gelatin, which come from – you guess it – a pig!)

Eventually, my mind and body got used to it.

Somehow I felt closer to billions of Jews and Muslims by doing this.

It was a religious experience for me, in a way.

I moved on from the SMP, and eventually saw the truth and beauty of polytheism.

and non-theisms.

But my body was already conditioned to avoid pork, and I no longer wanted it.

At that point, I already found wonderful substitutes.

Turkey bacon!!

Fish gelatin!!

Kermit!

Life wasn’t so bad!

Then I did some research and found that during the Middle Ages, Jews and Muslims tend to be in better health than the Christian community.

Could this have anything to do with eating pork?

I started to study the pig and realized just how filthy an animal it is.

Despite Arnold being clean and cute on Green Acres (yikes, am I dating myself or what?),

Pigs are dirty creatures.

Worse, did you know that actually EAT their own urine and feces?

(sorry, were you eating when you read this? whoops!)

And when you eat an animal, you eat..

what they eat.

Yeah.. I felt pretty sick to my stomach too.

I read how pork actually makes the head swim, and is a major contributor to obesity.

Pretty soon I saw less and less reasons to eat pork.

I actually got to the point of getting ill just thinking of eating something from a pig.

I then reconfirmed my abstinence from pork, but now for health reasons.

Though it still comes in handy when dining with Jews and Muslims.

I did accidentally eat some pork a few years ago..

Thought it was chicken.

And I actually got physically sick!

My body was so used to be pork-free that even a little bit of pork was more than it could stand.

Makes you think what our body has to do to adjust to pork, doesn’t it?

Perhaps ancient scripture had merit when it advised us against eating the pig.

I still am glad that I threw that pork out.

It taught me a very valuable lesson of discipline.

I guess it may have been the first time I actually gave up a habit that was so ingrained to me and that I enjoyed so well.

Once it was behind me, I know that I could give something else up – if I had to.

Or take something new up – if I want to.

Very liberating.

If you have an ingrained habit and think you can never change..

think again.

Trust me, if I can give up pork,

then you can give up anything!!

You just have to a good motivating reason for it.

Just saying “I want to stop…” is not enough.

WHY do you want to stop doing something?

The reason has to be compelling.

Associating the habit with something that disgusts you helps.

Maybe associate the habit with a pig!!

Or whatever really makes you ill.

The combination of a compelling reason to stop and the association with something that disgusts you will help you through those tough times when you crave the old habit again.

Hopefully this has given you something to think about…

while you are enjoying your ham hocks.

Peace,
Steve

I was at a doctor’s office the other day.

There was a man next to me..

I don’t pry into people’s affairs when they are at the doctor’s.

Hey, I know how personal an ingrown toe-nail can be.

(Oooh, the stories about toe-nails I could tell you!)

When a little birdie told me speak to this man.

Now, I normally do not listen to little birds that talk.

They kinda freak me out and question my sanity.

But this creature was SOOOOOOOO cute, I thought it wise not to antagonize it.

(I have seen what Angry Birds can do.. Trust me, it aint’ pretty).

I looked at the man next to me and I asked him if he was okay.

(which, if you think about it, is the single stupidest comment one can make. I mean, who goes to the doctor’s office when you are feeling fine? A highly insured masochist?).

He then proceeded to tell this incredible story.

He was a war veteran, and it seems the army EXPERIMENTED on him!!

Whoa!

I found out that unless one EXPLICITLY asks the Army to provide a medical experiment waiver, that joining the forces implicitly gives the government the right to give you experimental drugs (long before they are FDA approved, if ever), or even experimental surgeries!

Now, I haven’t done research on this so I am taking this man at his word. But after hearing about all the pain and suffering he went through at the hands of doctors, I believed him.

You know what the most amazing thing is about the guy?

Not his illness.

Not his botched surgeries.

Not the way he was treated.

It was that through telling me all of this he had a SMILE on his face!

There wasn’t a TRACE of anger, remorse, vengeance, hatred, etc..

He just accepted that what happened is what happened.

He was lucky he was alive.

I know he told me a lot, which I can’t remember, mainly because I kept saying to myself “how can this man be so happy with all the suffering he has endured – and looks like he is still enduring?”

I thought about all my problems that bother me… and they all seemed so petty.

Nothing I have ever gone through in life can compare to what this man went through.

Heck, my only personal experience with war is with a deck of cards!

(and I always lose!).

I had to leave, so my time with this wonderful man was cut short. I really wanted to understand how he developed his incredible positive outlook on life.

Maybe by just being thankful for being alive.

Sometimes, that is enough.

Peace.

Well, my family and I just got back from Disneyworld!

Yup..

Didn’t notice much difference.

People were just as Goofy in Florida as back home.

Ahem..

Anyway, we had a GREAT time! The stage shows were especially impressive.

and surprisingly emotional.

But hey, I still cry at the end of “Bride of Chucky.”

No, seriously. That ending always gets me.

Ok.. veering seriously off topic here.

F.O.C.U.S.

At the home of the Big Mouse (Disneyworld, not Chucky Cheese!)

(ok.. definitely have Chucky on my mind for some reason).

We went to lunch at Hollywood Studios theme park.

This eatery was SMALL!

How small was it?

Would you believe the mice were hunchback?

No, not Mickey! REAL mice.

ah, never mind.

Anyhoo, it was SO tight..

SO cramped.

Then when I put my tray on the counter to pay.

I couldn’t maneuver it well,..

and…

yup. it was FLYING out of my hand..

Food flinging UP in the air.

Tray CRASHING on the ground!!

Food SMOOSHING on the floor!

(yeeuch!)

What a mess!

The cashier just looked at me.

I looked at her.

We looked at each other.

She said “you got a turkey sandwich? It’s okay.. Just go and get another one.”

NICE LADY!!

One problem.

That was the LAST turkey sandwich they had!!

The place was packed and they just couldn’t make the sandwiches fast enough.

(True fact. I later found out the day that I was there it was record number of people at the park. at 100% capacity. And if you have ever been at Disneyworld, then you know how crowded that day was!).

I was starving..

Didn’t eat breakfast..

(note to self: “Self, never skip breakfast.”)

My daughter’s tray had her food..

and the cashier said “never mind.. go ahead.”

Go ahead?

“no charge. we should have food for you. you can go.”

I tried to pay for my daughter’s meal, but the cashier wouldn’t hear of it!

We went outside, and my daughter gave me some of her sandwich (ain’t she a sweetie?).

And 5 minutes later, the cashier came out, ran to my table, and handed me a turkey sandwich!

She just smiled and said “freshly made!” and walked away!

I don’t think any sandwich tasted as good as that turkey that day!

After eating, I felt a little awkward.

My daughter ate a nice lunch, and I had one too (and it really was just a few minutes later).

And I didn’t pay one cent!

I went back into the restaurant, and found the cashier.

I INSISTED on paying for both meals.

She just smiled and said.

“I appreciate the offer. We inconvenienced you so no charge for the food. I run this place so I can make the rules. Don’t think anything of it.”

Now, I have had some pretty outstanding service.

But at a resort like Disneyworld? This was pretty awesome.

When I got back I really thought about this.

She could have responded in so many different ways.

She could have insisted I pay for both meals (“tough luck, mister. It’s was on your tray, so pay up!”)

She could have insisted that I pay for at least my daughter’s meal (which certainly would have been fair in my opinion).

And she certainly didn’t have to hand deliver a fresh sandwich to me – again, at no charge!

But she did.

This wasn’t just outstanding service. To me, it was much much more.

There was moment of true kindness during all of this.

I wondered if kindness isn’t the powerful virtue of them all.

What if we treated everybody like this?

What if we treated ourselves like this?

Nowhere did we talk about God or Spirituality.

Yet, I know that the Divine is present at every act of kindness.

And She (the big lady upstairs) was definitely smiling, too.

Peace,
Steve