Of Mind and Spirit

Well, this is interesting.

Evidently, some parents don’t believe in gender stereotyping their child.

So they kept the gender a secret.

From EVERYONE.

including their child.

Eventually, a situation at school forced them to tell their child.

Question:

Are these parents trying to live with a different paradigm, and being a catalyst for a global paradigm shift on how to raise a child..

or are they using their child as an experiment?

Are these parents loving?

Or cruel?

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/couple-finally-reveals-childs-gender-five-years-birth-180300388.html

Appreciate your comments!!

Peace,
Steve

When I speak to people about religion, the #1 reason why people have problems with it is ..

dogma!

People just can’t STAND dogma!

Really?

What is dogma?

It’s just a set of beliefs.

typically about morals and faith.

That you believe to be true.

That’s all it is.

EVERYBODY embraces dogma!

When you say you hate dogma, what you really mean is that you hate the specific beliefs of that church/organization.

But you have your own dogma.

Doubt this?

Everyone has some kind of belief system.

Yours may be unique.

(just like everyone else’s)

But you have SOME system of how things work.

SOME things you believe are true.

And that, my dear friend, is your dogma!

While I was studying the Talmud (which is a compilation of hundreds of rabbis debating Jewish law over a thousand years – quite a book to try to get through…)

One line struck me.

“If you don’t embrace this Talmud you will only create your own.”

It took me years to understand that.

What it means to me is that we all believe in how the world/God/universe works.

There are laws that we believe in.

(even chaos is a law unto itself).

And we interpret our life’s events through these sets of laws.

We discuss these with ourselves and sometimes change our understanding of these laws.

That, essentially, is what the Talmud is for the Jews.

Interpreting God’s law, as they see it. Changing the interpretation sometimes.

It’s all dogma.

Either you accept someone else’s.

Or you will create your own.

Perhaps that word “dogma”, like the word “God”, has too much emotional baggage.

Dogma has become to be synonymous with arrogance, inflexibility, holier-than-thou attitudes, etc.

And yes, for most of us, our beliefs do become fixed over the years and are VERY hard to change.

So maybe Dogma isn’t a good thing.

To remove ALL dogma from our life is to let go of ALL preconceived beliefs.

To be open to ANYTHING.

Then again, maybe that’s a different dogma in itself.

This weekend, take a look at what you believe in.

How do YOU think the world works?

What is YOUR view of God?

What do YOU think is good or bad?

What do YOU think is immoral?

What does faith mean to YOU?

Chances are you have developed a neat little system over the years that have helped you cope with life.

Chances are it has also hindered you in life.

When we are willing to let go of our most cherished beliefs,

then miracles can occur.

It’s time to throw out all dogma.

At least that’s my dogma…

er. belief.

er.

Oh never mind.

Peace,
Steve

I stopped reading newspaper years ago.

Not only was I sick of reading constant negative news, I didn’t think most of it WAS news!

Gossip? Yes.

Propaganda? Yes.

Spin? Yes.

News?

Not so much.

I stopped getting TV (even basic cable) years ago, because I realized I was spending more time channel surfing than watching anything, and what I did end up watching wasn’t very good (imho).

Plus the good shows I could get on DVD and skip all those commercials.

And now with the power of the Internet, just by going to Yahoo’s main page, I can get inundated with a zillion pieces of tragedy, trash, and tyranny!

I was going home the other day and the traffic practically came to a complete stop!

What was going on?

There was an accident.

Now here was the fascinating thing.

The cars were on the far side of the road – even the cop cars.

There was NOTHING blocking the main road.

The hold up?

Cars were SLOWING DOWN TO LOOK AT THE WRECKAGE!

WHY?

What is this fascination with death and tragedy of other people?

Deaths bring visitors.

Life? Not so much!

Pick up any newspaper, new based web site, etc. and see how many positive and life affirming pieces of information you find.

Chances are not many.

Murder? page 1.

Sex scandal? Page 1.

Someone helping someone? page 15.

Why do we look at for the worst in humanity?

Is it just to make us feel better about ourselves?

(e.g. well, at least THAT hasn’t happened to me?)

If that’s true, then that is sad.

Isn’t there enough pain that life throws us anyhow..

Do we REALLY have to go LOOKING for it?

This week, consciously avoid focusing on the worst in humanity,

and go seeking for the best.

You will find it.

It’s as prevalent – if not more so – than the worst.

What always helps me is to realize that everyone – EVERYONE – has the Divine within them.

No matter what they look like.

No matter what they have done.

No matter what they say.

Imagine a divine white light in everyone you meet.

See the good in people.

You never know…

You might even help someone see the good in themselves.

Peace,
Steve

Since it’s still the beginning of the year, I am still looking back.

One of the things that struck me was that I gave up pork.

a long time ago.

People ask me why I did it.

It’s actually a little complicated.

As many of you know, I went through ‘phases’ of religion…

points of time where I immersed myself in one particular religious path.

About 20 years ago, I was HEAVY in my SMP.

(that’s Strict Monotheistic Phase, for you ACP out there).

(ACP is Acronym Challenged People)

At that point in my life, I gave up the Trinity of Christianity and embraced the Unity of the Judeo-Islamic tradition.

Ok, so not too many people think of the Judeo-Islamic tradition.

In fact, I might have even coined the phrase!

I always found it strange that we refer to the Judeo-Christian tradition, when – in reality- those religions have very little in common (once you get past the historic roots), while Judaism and Islam seem like mirror images to me.

Anyhow, among the many similarities of Judaism and Islam I found, one that was pretty obvious (and well known) was that they both forbid pork.

Hmm. Curious.

I gave up pork just to be in solidarity with what I then saw as my monotheistic brothers and sisters in those religions.

It was a lot easier dining with them, for sure! (though I was surprised at how many Jews now eat pork!)

I also found out just how hard it was to give up a habit.

Pork was a major part of my life for forty years!

Bacon!

Ham sandwiches!!

Miss Piggy!

I went cold Turkey and it was one of the hardest thing I ever did.

(Wait! Shouldn’t that be cold Pig? nah.. don’t like the sound of that).

Cravings started every time I smelled pork..

No more BLT!!

ARGGHH.

I had to give up some of my favorite candies.

(Most candies are made with gelatin, which come from – you guess it – a pig!)

Eventually, my mind and body got used to it.

Somehow I felt closer to billions of Jews and Muslims by doing this.

It was a religious experience for me, in a way.

I moved on from the SMP, and eventually saw the truth and beauty of polytheism.

and non-theisms.

But my body was already conditioned to avoid pork, and I no longer wanted it.

At that point, I already found wonderful substitutes.

Turkey bacon!!

Fish gelatin!!

Kermit!

Life wasn’t so bad!

Then I did some research and found that during the Middle Ages, Jews and Muslims tend to be in better health than the Christian community.

Could this have anything to do with eating pork?

I started to study the pig and realized just how filthy an animal it is.

Despite Arnold being clean and cute on Green Acres (yikes, am I dating myself or what?),

Pigs are dirty creatures.

Worse, did you know that actually EAT their own urine and feces?

(sorry, were you eating when you read this? whoops!)

And when you eat an animal, you eat..

what they eat.

Yeah.. I felt pretty sick to my stomach too.

I read how pork actually makes the head swim, and is a major contributor to obesity.

Pretty soon I saw less and less reasons to eat pork.

I actually got to the point of getting ill just thinking of eating something from a pig.

I then reconfirmed my abstinence from pork, but now for health reasons.

Though it still comes in handy when dining with Jews and Muslims.

I did accidentally eat some pork a few years ago..

Thought it was chicken.

And I actually got physically sick!

My body was so used to be pork-free that even a little bit of pork was more than it could stand.

Makes you think what our body has to do to adjust to pork, doesn’t it?

Perhaps ancient scripture had merit when it advised us against eating the pig.

I still am glad that I threw that pork out.

It taught me a very valuable lesson of discipline.

I guess it may have been the first time I actually gave up a habit that was so ingrained to me and that I enjoyed so well.

Once it was behind me, I know that I could give something else up – if I had to.

Or take something new up – if I want to.

Very liberating.

If you have an ingrained habit and think you can never change..

think again.

Trust me, if I can give up pork,

then you can give up anything!!

You just have to a good motivating reason for it.

Just saying “I want to stop…” is not enough.

WHY do you want to stop doing something?

The reason has to be compelling.

Associating the habit with something that disgusts you helps.

Maybe associate the habit with a pig!!

Or whatever really makes you ill.

The combination of a compelling reason to stop and the association with something that disgusts you will help you through those tough times when you crave the old habit again.

Hopefully this has given you something to think about…

while you are enjoying your ham hocks.

Peace,
Steve

I was at a doctor’s office the other day.

There was a man next to me..

I don’t pry into people’s affairs when they are at the doctor’s.

Hey, I know how personal an ingrown toe-nail can be.

(Oooh, the stories about toe-nails I could tell you!)

When a little birdie told me speak to this man.

Now, I normally do not listen to little birds that talk.

They kinda freak me out and question my sanity.

But this creature was SOOOOOOOO cute, I thought it wise not to antagonize it.

(I have seen what Angry Birds can do.. Trust me, it aint’ pretty).

I looked at the man next to me and I asked him if he was okay.

(which, if you think about it, is the single stupidest comment one can make. I mean, who goes to the doctor’s office when you are feeling fine? A highly insured masochist?).

He then proceeded to tell this incredible story.

He was a war veteran, and it seems the army EXPERIMENTED on him!!

Whoa!

I found out that unless one EXPLICITLY asks the Army to provide a medical experiment waiver, that joining the forces implicitly gives the government the right to give you experimental drugs (long before they are FDA approved, if ever), or even experimental surgeries!

Now, I haven’t done research on this so I am taking this man at his word. But after hearing about all the pain and suffering he went through at the hands of doctors, I believed him.

You know what the most amazing thing is about the guy?

Not his illness.

Not his botched surgeries.

Not the way he was treated.

It was that through telling me all of this he had a SMILE on his face!

There wasn’t a TRACE of anger, remorse, vengeance, hatred, etc..

He just accepted that what happened is what happened.

He was lucky he was alive.

I know he told me a lot, which I can’t remember, mainly because I kept saying to myself “how can this man be so happy with all the suffering he has endured – and looks like he is still enduring?”

I thought about all my problems that bother me… and they all seemed so petty.

Nothing I have ever gone through in life can compare to what this man went through.

Heck, my only personal experience with war is with a deck of cards!

(and I always lose!).

I had to leave, so my time with this wonderful man was cut short. I really wanted to understand how he developed his incredible positive outlook on life.

Maybe by just being thankful for being alive.

Sometimes, that is enough.

Peace.

Well, my family and I just got back from Disneyworld!

Yup..

Didn’t notice much difference.

People were just as Goofy in Florida as back home.

Ahem..

Anyway, we had a GREAT time! The stage shows were especially impressive.

and surprisingly emotional.

But hey, I still cry at the end of “Bride of Chucky.”

No, seriously. That ending always gets me.

Ok.. veering seriously off topic here.

F.O.C.U.S.

At the home of the Big Mouse (Disneyworld, not Chucky Cheese!)

(ok.. definitely have Chucky on my mind for some reason).

We went to lunch at Hollywood Studios theme park.

This eatery was SMALL!

How small was it?

Would you believe the mice were hunchback?

No, not Mickey! REAL mice.

ah, never mind.

Anyhoo, it was SO tight..

SO cramped.

Then when I put my tray on the counter to pay.

I couldn’t maneuver it well,..

and…

yup. it was FLYING out of my hand..

Food flinging UP in the air.

Tray CRASHING on the ground!!

Food SMOOSHING on the floor!

(yeeuch!)

What a mess!

The cashier just looked at me.

I looked at her.

We looked at each other.

She said “you got a turkey sandwich? It’s okay.. Just go and get another one.”

NICE LADY!!

One problem.

That was the LAST turkey sandwich they had!!

The place was packed and they just couldn’t make the sandwiches fast enough.

(True fact. I later found out the day that I was there it was record number of people at the park. at 100% capacity. And if you have ever been at Disneyworld, then you know how crowded that day was!).

I was starving..

Didn’t eat breakfast..

(note to self: “Self, never skip breakfast.”)

My daughter’s tray had her food..

and the cashier said “never mind.. go ahead.”

Go ahead?

“no charge. we should have food for you. you can go.”

I tried to pay for my daughter’s meal, but the cashier wouldn’t hear of it!

We went outside, and my daughter gave me some of her sandwich (ain’t she a sweetie?).

And 5 minutes later, the cashier came out, ran to my table, and handed me a turkey sandwich!

She just smiled and said “freshly made!” and walked away!

I don’t think any sandwich tasted as good as that turkey that day!

After eating, I felt a little awkward.

My daughter ate a nice lunch, and I had one too (and it really was just a few minutes later).

And I didn’t pay one cent!

I went back into the restaurant, and found the cashier.

I INSISTED on paying for both meals.

She just smiled and said.

“I appreciate the offer. We inconvenienced you so no charge for the food. I run this place so I can make the rules. Don’t think anything of it.”

Now, I have had some pretty outstanding service.

But at a resort like Disneyworld? This was pretty awesome.

When I got back I really thought about this.

She could have responded in so many different ways.

She could have insisted I pay for both meals (“tough luck, mister. It’s was on your tray, so pay up!”)

She could have insisted that I pay for at least my daughter’s meal (which certainly would have been fair in my opinion).

And she certainly didn’t have to hand deliver a fresh sandwich to me – again, at no charge!

But she did.

This wasn’t just outstanding service. To me, it was much much more.

There was moment of true kindness during all of this.

I wondered if kindness isn’t the powerful virtue of them all.

What if we treated everybody like this?

What if we treated ourselves like this?

Nowhere did we talk about God or Spirituality.

Yet, I know that the Divine is present at every act of kindness.

And She (the big lady upstairs) was definitely smiling, too.

Peace,
Steve

Well, the new year is almost upon us!!

Can you believe it!!

Only 366 days until 2013!

A lot of people say “new year resolutions”..

which they promptly forget by Jan 31.

Local gyms go through the same bizarre experience every year.

On Jan 2nd, their parking lot is filled to the brim!!

Every machine has a waiting line.

People sign up for a years membership.

By the end of the month..

the parking lot is empty.

Only a few people are using the machines.

Why is this?

Because people try to implement their new years resolution to “get in shape” the beginning of the year!

They are STOKED to CHANGE!!!

Yup.

But it is a short lived motivation..

And 30 days later, people are back to their old ways.

Now, assuming you want to make REAL progress in your life’s goals this year..

Try this approach instead.

Don’t do any resolutions.

Instead, get your journal out (you do keep a journal, right?)

Put the date 12/31/2012 at the top.

(yes, that is not a typo).

Now, look BACK on the year 2012 and reminisce about all the INCREDIBLE things that have happened that year!

List all the major accomplishments that you made on your life’s goals.

Make sure you write them in the PAST tense.

Relive the experience of the joy of accomplishing them.

For example, you could say.

“I can’t believe I did it!! By June 15, 2012 I lost 10 pounds!! I was so excited I got me a dress/suit/pants 1 size smaller!”

Etc.

The key is to look BACK on 2012, as if it was already in the past..

and FEEL the joy and excitement of all the thing you have already done.

Put SPECIFIC goals and SPECIFIC dates.

Don’t just say “I was happy that I lost weight.”

That ain’t gonna cut it.

Say “By June 15, 2015 I lost 10 pounds! I was so excited……”

And when the REAL December 2012 comes around, you will be very pleasantly surprised at how many things in your journal came true.

Wishing you, your loved ones, and everyone that touches your life..

a Very Happy New Year!!

Until next time,
Peace,
Steve

Two years ago, my family went to the most INCREDIBLE restaurant.

EVER!

I mean, on a scale from 0 to 10, I would rate this place a 13!

Seriously.

The food was literally beyond perfection.

Even the salad was awesome!

It was huge head of lettuce, with tomatoes, and a dressing to die for.

Brilliant in its simplicity and taste!

The appetizer?

Mushrooms wrapped in brown rice with some special sauce.

Truly delicious and healthy!! (how many appetizers can you say that about?)

And the beef?

OMG!!

There is a farm (one of the few in the country where this happens), that suspends the cows off the ground…

they get hand massaged 5 times a day..

while listening to classical music!

(no joke!).

The whole premise was to make these cows be as peaceful and contended as humanly possible to produce the most tender beef in the world.

And you know what?

I have NEVER tasted beef that tender.

I could almost FEEL the happiness of these cows!

The service was beyond A+. I don’t think I have ever had better service.

or food.

EVER.

We couldn’t wait for the next opportunity to go there again!

(hint: it was pretty far from our home, so it’s not something that we can just go on a typical night).

Fast forward two years.

My family happened to be in the same neighborhood of this incredible restaurant!

So, naturally, we went to this same place!.

Under same management!

Can you imagine our excitement?

Well, we knew something was different as soon as we walked in.

It was hard to pinpoint..

Things LOOKED the same…

But something ‘wasn’t right.’

The waiter was nice, but that was it.

The menu?

We got the mushroom appetizer..

When it arrived it looked like fire logs.

They were fried so hard that it was hard to tear them apart.

And even harder to eat them!

We complained to the waiter, who really didn’t seem to care but told me he would pass on my concerns to the chef.

The salad came and we all looked at it and went

“What is this?”

It had beets (Beets?).
Egg salad (??)
Chick peas (!)
Olives.
and a piece of shrimp!

The dressing was not good either.

Frankly, it was a mess!

And there as no special beef to order.

Just filet mignon.

Now I am not knocking filet!

That is one incredible piece of beef.

But after having that “special” beef, it was a let down.

It wasn’t cooked in any sauce. And while it had taste, it wasn’t anything than a very good piece of meat.

My daughter got a pizza.

Again, nothing to write home about.

When we were done, the waiter took away our plates without asking if we wanted to take any home!

My daughter wanted to take the left off pizza home for leftovers tomorrow..

So I literally ran down the hall trying to catch our waiter before he threw the leftovers away!

I got there too late!

He felt bad and gave us another free pizza to take home.

But honestly!!

We left the place vowing never to come back again.

What happened?

The food wasn’t BAD.

The meal was good.

The service was okay.

So what, really, was wrong?

It was just okay… THAT was the problem!

How could a business go from being A++ to a “C” in a manner of 24 months?

• It eliminated the one-of-a-kind meal that separated itself from literally thousands of other eating establishments.
• It treated it’s customers like a typical paying customer, rather than a special guest.
• It threw out the brilliancy of simplicity and substituted the mess of complexity, thinking that more was better.

In short, the management was content on the business being ‘okay.

So it went from great to good.

Is this what we have done to ourselves?

Have we stopped viewing ourselves as one-of-a-kind person that is different from literally billions of other human beings?

Do we treat people we meet like a typical passerby, rather than a special acquaintance?

Have we thrown out the brilliance of simplicity for the mess of complexity, thinking that more is better?

In short, are we content with our lives being ‘okay?’

I hope not.

You ARE someone special.

Out of 7 BILLION people, there is NO ONE like you!!

NO ONE!

You affect EVERYONE you come into contact.

Even the stranger who glances (even accidentally), your way.

NEVER settle for being ‘okay.’

Because you are designed for GREATNESS.

Never forget that.

In the realm of humanity..

You are A+++.

Literally a 13 on a scale of 0 to 10!

Yes, it’s okay to feel good about yourself.

Now, go, and share the joy!

Until next time,
Peace

Steve

Do you ever wonder.

Does it REALLY matter what you listen to?

What you watch?

What you read?

Sometimes I think people who say “be CAREFUL about what you are exposed to! IT ALL AFFECTS YOU!! BWAH HAH HAH!” are a little, well, extreme.

But yesterday, something happened to me that made me think that there is really something to that philosophy.

A song came into my head.

Now, bot just any song.

A song that I ONLY HEARD ONCE WHEN I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!

That was FIVE DECADES AGO.

The song?

OH, YOUR RED SCARF MATCHES YOUR EYES,
YOU CLOSED YOUR COVER BEFORE STRIKING,
FATHER HAD THE SHIPFITTER BLUES,
LOVING YOU HAS MADE ME BANANAS.

The song was called, of course “Loving you has made me bananas.”

Let’s forget the profound theological implications of that chorus for a moment.

(that was a joke, folks.)

The fact that I STILL REMEMBER THAT BLASTED CHORUS FIFTY YEARS later, really says something.

Now I have NO idea what brought that tune (and words) into my head.

But that fact that it still had the power to resurface after so long realy shows me the power of what we expose ourselves to.

You read something horrible in the news?

It somehow gets stored in your brain for later use.

That film that shows violence against women?

Yup.. that gets stored too.

That gossip you hear about a co-worker?

People talking about how hard it is to get a job..

how the economy sucks..

how this and that is bad….

You get the picture.

As the new year comes closer, take some time look at what you are reading, seeing and listening.

What if your brain is being reprogrammed to think along those lines?

Is that the kind of life you want?

Now I am not saying that EVERYTHING you listen to will impact your life.

It just may be a total coincidence that my wife’s eyes matches her scarf.

Curious and curiouser.

Until next time,

Peace,
Steve